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- Some of the best Steven Wright jokes are12:
- "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
- "I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman."
- "I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him."
- "Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee."
- "When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually."
- "I got a job working at a factory that makes fire hydrants. Unfortunately I can't park anywhere near it."
- "I got a sweater for my birthday. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."
- "I bought a new phone, the first thing I did was push redial. The phone rang and a voice said, 'So what did you want?'"
Learn more:✕This summary was generated using AI based on multiple online sources. To view the original source information, use the "Learn more" links.20 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes
- 1. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
- 2. "I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a woman."
- 3. "I got a new dog. ...
www.mentalfloss.com/article/60461/20-steven-wrig…Best Short Steven Wright Jokes
- When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually. (From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)
jokojokes.com/steven-wright-jokes.html 100+ Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes and Jokes - Thought Catalog
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright “Change is inevitable….except from vending machines.” – Steven Wright “The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.” – Steven Wright “The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.” – Steven Wright “To steal … See more
“7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.” – Steven Wright “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright “A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.” – Steven Wright “A conscience is what hurts when all your … See more
“A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, ‘Why were you going so fast?’ I said, ‘See this thing my foot is on? It’s called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to … See more
67 of the Best Steven Wright Jokes on His 67th Birthday
WEBDec 6, 2022 · “I entered the ‘Stranger Sweepstakes’. It’s a contest. You pay fifty cents, and you get a little card with a number on it. Then you go up to any stranger and scratch a …
- Websites of 100 best steven wright jokes
The Funniest Steven Wright Jokes & One-Liners, Ranked By Fans
WEBJul 29, 2019 · The Most Memorable Steven Wright Jokes & One-Liners, Ranked. If you're a fan of stand-up comedy, then you're a fan of Steven Wright. He's been active in the …
32 Hilarious Steven Wright One-Liner Jokes - CINEMABLEND
WEBNov 22, 2023 · Steven Wright has several jokes about sci-fi-esque ramifications that come from making copies, but this is easily my favorite. A few questions: How much ink would …
20 of Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes - Mental Floss
WEBTo celebrate, here are 20 of his funniest jokes. 1. "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." 2. "I almost broke both my arms trying to hold open a revolving door for a …
107 Best Of Steven Wright Quotes - Laughter Online University
WEBJan 9, 2023 · He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and …
These 30 ROFL Steven Wright's Funniest Jokes Are Crazily …
WEBJan 14, 2020 · Read Some of the Funniest Steven Wright Jokes. Here are some gems of humor from the famous comedian. These Steven Wright jokes are great conversation …
65 Funny One-Liners by Steven Wright - Stand Up Comedy Clinic
WEBSteven Wright was one of the best observational one-liner comedians of all time. His observations were poignant, clever and always clean. Here are 65 of some of his …
Comedian Steven Wright | Funniest Collection - YouTube
WEBHe is known for his supporting role as Leon in the Peabody Award-winning tragicomedy web series Horace and Pete. Here is a short selection of the best Steven Wright …
119 Hilarious Steven Wright Quotes - YouTube
WEBSep 30, 2023 · This video is a comprehensive compilation of the most humorous, thought-provoking, and downright absurd quotes from the legendary comedian, Steven Wright.
Famous Steven Wright One-Liners - LiveAbout
WEBJan 14, 2020 · He shakes every belief system and pulls you out of your comfort zone. Steven Wright's one-liners create a riot of laughter. If you are good at dialogue delivery, …
Steven Wright Quotes/Jokes
WEBQuotes / Jokes. For my birthday, I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier... put 'em in the same room. Let 'em fight it out. - Steven Wright. When I go, I'm flying Air Bizarre. It's a good …
Best Steven Wright Stand-Up: The Funniest Deadpan One-liners
WEBA cult favorite, here are some classic Wright jokes. Early Steven Wright http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrptlNYiKMg&feature=fvst Best Use of :49 …
Best Joke Ever: Steven Wright, Immortal King of One-liners and ...
WEBFeb 2, 2016 · The key to Wright’s humor is literalism: glorious literalism. Wright takes words seriously and specifically in ways that turn everyday thoughts and terms into …
32 Hilarious Steven Wright One-Liner Jokes - Medium
WEBJun 7, 2024 · In Honor of his talent, I’m rustling up 32 of his best One Liners here…. “When I turned 2, I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this …
Steven Wright Quotes & Funny One-Liners - The Goal Chaser
WEBHis one-liner quotes are often funny because they play with words and language, and because they are non-sequiturs. If you are looking for a good laugh, or some clever and …
40 Steven Wright Quotes & Jokes To Make You Laugh - The …
WEBNov 3, 2023 · He is one of the greatest stand-up comics of his time best known for his hilarious one-liners and deadpan delivery of witty jokes. Here are the best Steven …
Steven Wright Jokes: Part 1 - Wright Knowledge - Wright House
WEBPart 1 of the BIGGEST LIST ON THE WEB of quotations, jokes, humor, one-liners, and meditations on life from comedian Steven Wright. FAKES IDENTIFIED.
Steven Wright Jokes | Stand-Up Comedy Database | Dead-Frog
WEBI was Cesarean born. Can't really tell. Although, whenever I leave a house I got out through the window. Steven Wright on Everything. Well, you can't have everything. Where …
30 Best Steven Wright Quotes With Image | Bookey
WEBHis deadpan delivery and thought-provoking humor have made him a trailblazer in the world of comedy, inspiring countless comedians with his distinctive approach. With his …
35 Best Quotes From Steven Wright…From Ask Lewis - Medium
WEBJan 15, 2024 · Wright has become so popular that many Zen-like, existential, absurdist lists of jokes attributed to Wright circulate on the Internet. Many are not by him at all.
Best Quotes & Jokes by Steven Wright | SComedy
WEBQuotes & Jokes by Steven Wright. 643 quotes. The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around …
Steven Wright Jokes - myths.com
WEBThe neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. I have a …