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    Some of the funniest quotes ever are:
    Today+2
    • “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” — Sandra Bullock
    • “Keep calm and carry a wand.” — A.W. Jantha, “Hocus Pocus & The All New Sequel”
    • “The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.” — Willy Wonka, “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”
    • “I thought Europe was a country.” —Kellie Pickler, country music singer
    • “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” — Jerry Seinfeld
    • “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” — Robert Bloch
    • “When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.” — Bob Monkhouse

    3 Sources

    115 Best Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh - TODAY
    Best overall funny quotes 1 “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” — Sandra Bullock 2 “Keep calm and carry a wand.” — A.W. Jantha, “Hocus Po…
    Today
    https://www.today.com › life › inspiration
    The 100 Funniest Quotes of All Time | Reader's Digest Canada
    The 100 Funniest Quotes of All Time 1 The funniest quotes of all time aren’t always intentional… Case in point: “I thought Europe was a country.” —Kellie Pickler, country music sin…
    www.readersdigest.ca
    https://www.readersdigest.ca › culture › funniest-quotes-celebrities
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    Top 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather d…
    Quotery
    https://www.quotery.com › collections › top-funny-quotes-all-time
    Today
    www.readersdigest.ca
    Quotery
    Today
    https://www.today.com › life › inspiration
    115 Best Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh - TODAY
    Best overall funny quotes 1 “Whoever established the high road and how high it should be should be fired.” — Sandra Bullock 2 “Keep calm and carry a wand.” — A.W. Jantha, “Hocus Po…
    www.readersdigest.ca
    https://www.readersdigest.ca › culture › funniest-quotes-celebrities
    The 100 Funniest Quotes of All Time | Reader's Digest Canada
    The 100 Funniest Quotes of All Time 1 The funniest quotes of all time aren’t always intentional… Case in point: “I thought Europe was a country.” —Kellie Pickler, country music sin…
    Quotery
    https://www.quotery.com › collections › top-funny-quotes-all-time
    Top 100 Funny Quotes of All-Time
    Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather d…

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