"I’m not overweight, I’m just nine inches short." "I love cats. They purr and they hug you, and they are quiet and soft." "If you can't be kind, at least be vague." "I'm not a morning person. I’m a breakfast person." "The only thing I hate more than a Monday is a Monday without lasagna."

Monday is a day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy week. Life is a lot like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it. But the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get. All I ever do is eat and sleep, eat and sleep, eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that.