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    • “A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.” – Ronald Knox
    • “When on the ladder of success, don’t let boys look up your dress!” – Unknown
    • “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ” – Louis Hector Berlioz
    • “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”
    • “A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power”
    • “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity”
    • “I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”
    • “Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening.”
    • “The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” – Joan Rivers
    • “When nothing is going right, go left.” – Unknown
    • “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
    • “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
    • “My wallet is like an onion…”
    • “Don’t you tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”
    • “Life is a bowl of soup, and I’m a fork.”
    • “I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine.”
    • “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off of it!”
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