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https://www.amazon.com › State-Affairs-Rethinking-Infidelity › dp
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - amazon.com
From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity.
Originally publishedOctober 10, 2017
AuthorEsther Perel
GenreNonfiction · Psychology · Relationships · Self Help · Sexuality · Love · Marriage · Romance · Sociology
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Goodreads
Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has …
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel - A Thoughtful Look at Cheating and Relationships
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The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ...
Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In …
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Goodreads
Oct 10, 2017 · Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten …
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Format: Ebook
Pages: 352
Amazon
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The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who …
Jan 1, 2017 · Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees …
- 4.6/5
  (5)
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Amazon
https://www.amazon.com › State-Affairs-Rethinking-Infidelity › dp
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - amazon.com
Oct 10, 2017 · Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe …
- 4.6/5
  (5)
Barnes & Noble
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Barnes & Noble
Oct 9, 2018 · Discover The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel and millions of other books available at Barnes & Noble. Shop paperbacks, eBooks, and more!
- Edition description: Reprint
- Publication date: 10/09/2018
- ISBN-13: 9780062322593
- Publisher: HarperCollins
Amazon
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Hardcover - Amazon.ca
From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to …
- Reviews: 5.1K
- Author: Esther Perel
sobrief.com
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The State of Affairs | Summary, Quotes, FAQ, Audio
Jan 22, 2025 · The State of Affairs explores infidelity in relationships, challenging common assumptions and offering a nuanced perspective. Perel presents diverse case studies, …
Waterstones
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The State Of Affairs by Esther Perel | Waterstones
Oct 3, 2019 · Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees …
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Bookshop
From iconic couples' therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to …
medium.com
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Book Review: The State of Affairs — Rethinking Infidelity.
Mar 1, 2021 · Through a compassionate lens, we are able to explore the underlying emotions, meanings, and motivations of infidelity in a safe and empathetic space. The structure of the book mimics the life...
HarperCollins
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The State of Affairs – HarperCollins
From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to …
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Google Books
Oct 10, 2017 · From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for …
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The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Google Books
Oct 12, 2017 · Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees …
Amazon
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Hardcover - Amazon.co.uk
The State of Affairs is a profoundly intelligent and eloquent book. Esther Perel analyses the complex issues of monogamous marriage and the heartbreak of widespread infidelity. She …
- Reviews: 5.1K
- Author: Esther Perel
Allen Cheng
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The State of Affairs Book Summary, by Esther Perel
Nov 16, 2020 · The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity is an examination of infidelity in romantic relationships, as well as a way to explore what affairs can teach all lovers about healthy …
Powell's Books
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Powell's Books
Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked …
Amazon
https://www.amazon.com › State-Affairs-Rethinking...
The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who …
Oct 3, 2019 · Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic; because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees …
- 4.6/5
  (5)
Perlego
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[PDF] The State of Affairs by Esther Perel - Perlego
Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked …
The Washington Post
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‘Dream State’ by Eric Puchner book review - The Washington Post
Feb 18, 2025 · Oprah’s book club pick, ‘Dream State,’ is a transporting wonder. ... It’s an affecting reminder that all our choices over the next couple of decades — our marriages, births, affairs ...
Amazon
https://www.amazon.co.uk › State-Affairs-Rethinking...
The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - Amazon.co.uk
The State of Affairs is a profoundly intelligent and eloquent book. Esther Perel analyses the complex issues of monogamous marriage and the heartbreak of widespread infidelity. She …
- Reviews: 4.9K
- Author: Esther Perel
Amazon
https://www.amazon.com › The-State-of-Affairs-Esther...
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - amazon.com
Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a groundbreaking and provocative look at infidelity, arguing for a more nuanced and less …
- 4.6/5
  (5)
Committee on Foreign Affairs
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Penguin Random House
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Dream State: Oprah's Book Club - Penguin Random House
About Dream State: Oprah’s Book Club “Dream State is a delight…An exquisitely rendered novel about the vagaries of fate, and friendship, and love.” —Alice McDermott, National Book Award …
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity
Book by Esther Perel
Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.An affair: it can rob a couple of t…
4.4
Goodreads
4.6
Amazon
3
Barnes and Noble
Reviews
You go through these periods where everyone you know is getting married, then having babies; and then suddenly, …
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You go through these periods where everyone you know is getting married, then having babies; and then suddenly, you reach an age where it seems like everyone you know is Having Problems. We noticed this a couple of years ago – all at once it seemed that half the friends we knew were watching their marriages fall apart because the men were sleeping with their secretaries. ‘Can you believe these guys?’ Hannah fumed. ‘And where are all these secretaries, anyway?’ I said, staring into the middle distance.As Dumas père laconically observed, ‘The bonds of wedlock are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, sometimes three.’ He, of course (through no fault of his own), was French. In Anglophone culture, by contrast, infidelity is presented – during radio phone-ins, in books and movies, and on internet discussion forums – as about the most heinous act possible, right up there with murder, child abuse, and the prose of EL James.Which is perhaps a case of people protesting too much, since – as the statistics show – a lot of us do it. And a lot of us have been hurt by it, too, either directly or through a parent. People's quickness to judge tends to be formed by the interplay of these backgrounds, since, as Esther Perel points out in this superbly uncensorious study, attitudes to infidelity are strongly marked by what social psychologists call the actor-observer bias: ‘If you cheat, it's because you are a selfish, weak, untrustworthy person. But if I do it, it's because of the situation I found myself in. For ourselves, we focus on the mitigating circumstances; for others, we blame character.’Deceit from loved ones is incredibly traumatic; but Perel does not ignore the fact that affairs can also be, for the person having them, transformational and even (her word) empowering. Not …
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I liked this book and would have liked it even more if Esther Perel focused more on relationships outside the context …
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I liked this book and would have liked it even more if Esther Perel focused more on relationships outside the context of marriage. What I appreciated most about The State of Affairs: Perel recognizes that relationships are dynamic and require consistent communication and recalibration. Instead of taking a binary or absolutist approach, she explores the motivations and emotions underlying infidelity. I enjoyed the brief bits of feminist thought in the book, such as her recognition that marriage is a concept derived from patriarchy and control over women. This quote toward the end of the book showcases Perel's writing and critical thinking at its best:"Our partners do not belong to us; they are only on loan, with an option to renew - or not. Knowing that we can lose them does not have to undermine commitment; rather, it mandates an active engagement that long-term couples often lose. The realization that our loved ones are forever elusive should jolt us out of complacency, in the most positive sense."This book had the potential to be so much more radical and revolutionary. For about the first 60%, Perel provides anecdote after anecdote of affairs destroying marriages. I wish she had used that space to delve deeper into topics she only touched on later on in the book. How are poly relationships, open relationships, and other types of relationships helping us break free from the historically sexist and limiting features of marriage? Why is it that we are socialized to invest so much of ourselves in romantic love (i.e., amatonormativity), even when it hurts us? Instead of throwing in some stories about queer couples that fit a heteronormative script, Perel could have provided more chapters centered on the unique and distinct experiences of queer people, people of color, and those who engage in …
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Apparently eighty percent of the population has some experience with infidelity, whether through a parent, spou…
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Apparently eighty percent of the population has some experience with infidelity, whether through a parent, spouse, friend, or family member. Considering how hurtful and destructive such urges are, it is amazing most of us are still standing. Esther Perel has distilled her years of marriage counseling and study of infidelity to reveal fascinating insights that make enormous sense to me. She tells us that “In a surprising number of these cases, a direct line can be traced from an extramarital adventure back to our most basic human fear—the confrontation with mortality.”I would add a corollary that if the infidel (?) one who commits infidelity didn’t fear death before they became involved in an extramarital affair, they should after, for sure.I love the way Perel thinks. She is such an adult. When one is in the midst of handling an exposed infidelity, it is common to experience sadness, rage, jealousy, and diminished self-worth. Perel says we can feel these things if we want, it is normal, but it is probably more worthwhile to look at why one strayed, if one has the stamina for it.In this way, one may find one prefers one’s spouse to other possibilities, and can renew their vows in a fuller knowledge of one another, and a fuller knowledge of what it takes to make a marriage succeed. One of the things I notice about marriage is that sometimes the people involved forget that the spouse is a mystery and basically unknowable; that the spouse is an independent sexual being; that affairs often allow us to discover a new self, rather than merely a new sexual partner. Oftentimes it is that new sexual self that is so entrancing, not the new partner after all, e.g., “I feel alive.”.A couple of other things Perel points to are that we keep many secrets in a marriage, and perhaps infidelity is not the most …
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