Bittenbinder came every year, with a program to teach us about the violent world just outside the school gym, and that program was called Street Smarts! It’s time for Street S… See more

I have friends I went to college with who say, “Aw, you should donate. Be a good alumnus.” And … See more

I am now gross. I am damp all the time. I am damp now and I will be damp later. Like the back of a dolphin, my back. The butt part of my pants is damp a lot. I don’t think it’s anythin… See more

I can’t listen to any new songs. Because every new song is about how tonight is the night and we only have tonight. That is such 19-year-old horseshit. I want to write songs for p… See more