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- Videos of john mulaney quicksand jokebing.com/videos
Lyrics
See more songs by John MulaneyHi! Hi! Hello! Hi! Ha ha ha, how are you?
Thank you, that's very nice of you
Thank you, thank you very much
Thank you very much, that's so nice of you
I hope you're having a good week
Thank you for being here
I, uh, am doing well myself
In a couple days I'm gonna turn 29 years old
And I'm very excited about that
I was hoping that by now that I would look older
But it didn't happen
I don't look older, I just look worse, I think
Honestly when I'm walking down the street
No one's ever like, "Hey, look at that man"
I think they're just like
"Whoa, that tall child looks terrible!
Get some rest, tall child!
You can't keep burning the candle at both ends!"
You ever seen on America's Most Wanted
When they age a photo of someone?
Just take my kindergarten photo
And yellow the teeth and put bags under the eyes
And be like "This is what he would look like now"
I was a very nervous kid
I was anxious all the time when I was younger
But what's nice is that some of the things I was anxious about
Don't bother me at all anymore, like, uh
I always though that, uh
Quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be
Because if you watch cartoons, quicksand is like
The third biggest thing you have to worry about in adult life
Behind real sticks of dynamite and giant anvils falling on you from the sky
I used to sit around and think about what to do about quicksand
I never thought about how to handle real problems in adult life
I was never like "Oh, what's it gonna be like when relatives ask to borrow money?"
Now I've gotten older; not only have I never stepped in quicksand
I've never even heard about it!
No one's ever been like, "Hey, if you're coming to visit, take I-90
Because I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle
Looks like regular sand, but then you're start to sink into it" WEBHi! Hahaha, how are you? Thank you, that's very nice of you, thank you. Thank you very much. That's so nice of you, I hope you're having a good week, thank you for being here! …
John Mulaney
John Mulaney is a comedian, actor, writer, and producer from Chicago, Illinois. …
New in Town
On “New In Town”, John Mulaney chronicles his experience in meeting a …
Female Heist Movie
On “Female Heist Movie,” Mulaney discusses the difficulty of women getting …
The Worse Word
I wrote a joke for this awards show that had the word "midget" in it. And someone …
Whiskey Or Perfume
I'm Irish... I keep things very bottled up, and I don't drink. Which is not what you're …
Delta Airlines
I will tolerate any treatment. / Like I travel alone sometimes, and I'll put up with …
WEBProvided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises Quicksand · John Mulaney New in Town ℗ 2012 Comedy Central Records Released on: 2012-01-28 Music Publisher: Comedy …
John Mulaney: New In Town (2012) - Scraps from the loft
WEBRead the transcript of John Mulaney: New in Town. In this stand-up Mulaney tackles such red-hot topics as quicksand, Motown singers and an elderly man he once met in a …
WEBThese John Mulaney quotes and funny jokes from his stand-up shows are bound to have you laughing out loud.
WEBThese are some of the funniest John Mulaney jokes has told in SNL sketches and performing stand-up.
WEBFrom his observations on his Catholic upbringing, to observational humor, and more that one "Law and Order" joke, Mulaney has kept fans laughing for years. Cast your votes …
- People also ask
WEB’Kid Gorgeous’ is John Mulaney’s best hour-long stand-up comedy special yet, a showcase for his immaculate writing and captivating stagecraft. Here are the 8 best jokes from the …
WEBIn honor of John’s new special, here are some of our favorite jokes John’s made in the past. Home Alone 2. There are plenty of plot holes we can find in classic films. But John …
WEB43K subscribers in the JohnMulaney community. A community for all things John Mulaney - an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer.
Whatever happened to quicksand? - Washington Examiner
WEBMulaney was born in 1982, so his quicksand joke wasn’t based on a groovy ’60s childhood. Quicksand scenes may be less frequent, but they’re arguably just as …
15 Hilarious John Mulaney Quotes That'll Have You Crying Of …
WEBMulaney has a certain way of impersonating people that is hilarious and captivating at the same time. In this joke, he talks about his and his wife's experience with their real estate, …
How John Mulaney Addresses Drug Intervention, Rehab and Son …
WEBMulaney uses this moment to clarify that Davidson did not do drugs with him — a rumor that sprung up after the former SNL writer entered rehab — in a joke referencing a phone call …
John Mulaney on quicksand. - Imgur
WEBDiscover topics like comedy, comedian, and the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, …
50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan
WEBBest John Mulaney Quotes. As one of the most popular stand-up comedians in America, John Mulaney has taken the comedy scene by storm in recent years and has …
Quicksand — John Mulaney | Last.fm
WEBWatch the video for Quicksand from John Mulaney's New In Town for free, and see the artwork, lyrics and similar artists.
125 John Mulaney Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
WEB– John Mulaney “I always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. You watch cartoons and quicksand is like the third biggest thing …
John Mulaney - Wikipedia
WEBHe was the creator and star of the short-lived semi-autobiographical Fox sitcom Mulaney (2014–2015). Mulaney also performs George St. Geegland in a comedic duo with Nick …