“I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.” “A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.” “Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.” “Operator! Give me the number for 911!”

15 Words of Wisdom From Homer Simpson! 1. “Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.”. 2. "Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers." 3. "You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like ...