“I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands.” – Unknown “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese “Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.” – Unknown

Short Funny Quotes 1. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 2. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. 3. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 4. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. 5. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 6.